Uncle Dan, Goodbye

So my uncle died. I didn't go to his wake or his funeral. I was away. I can't deal with the death. It's gotten harder and harder for me to deal with death since my father died. I just don't really want to see anymore of my family members gone. I know it is inevitable... but it's just too much.
I talked to him before I left the country for business. I told him that I loved him and that I respected him for fighting his demons. He told me that he was making his peace. That it was tough, but that he understood the situation.

I'm glad I got to meet my uncle. He had gotten himself sober for a few years before his illnesses. It was like I was meeting him for the first time. He was a nice guy. When my dad died I told him how much him being sober meant to me. I hugged him and he hugged me back. He later slipped back into drinking. In my mind though he had done something monumental. I don' think anyone thought that he would be able to conquer that demon. I didn't think that we would be able to, but he did. It was a huge inspiration to me. It wasn't the only time he was able to give up drinking for an extended period of time, but it was the one that touched me the most. I love my uncle. I respected him. I'll miss him a lot.

He was an intelligent man. A dark soul with a cloud over him like a gloomy day. It was kind of poetic though. He was a well read person. He wrote, though I have never seen his writing. He was a great guitar player. I think he was the first person that ever played guitar live in front of me. He impressed me, but I don't know if he ever knew. I loved him, I think he knew. I told him a few times. It's just sort of hitting me now that I will never be able to talk to him again. I hope that he is with my dad where ever they are... I hope that he tells my dad that I cried for him when he was gone. I hope my uncle knows that I'm crying for him now. I hope that he tells my dad I love him. I hope that my uncle has his hand back and is sit around a fire somewhere with my dad. I hope they are smoking a joint and playing the guitar, and enjoying themselves. I miss them both. I hope they are both happy where they are.

Someday hopefully many years from now I can join them, and tell them the stories of the things they will miss out on since they have been gone. I hope my uncle's kids will have the same opportunity. I hope the stories that we have to tell them are happy, filled with the laughter of children and the smiles of loved ones. It's so damned hard having another family member leave. It's so hard knowing that I can't walk down the street and see him over gramma's house reading the paper on a weekend.

Uncle Dan,

I respect you and love you, and I'll miss you greatly. You were a good guy. You were a hot shit. Tell my dad I said hi. The family sends their love with you.

Your loving Nephew,

Mike

Travel Blues

Have I mentioned that Traveling can really suck. The waiting is the worst part. I'm sitting in Dublin airport right now... I get to go see my girlfriend today, but as fate would have it weather has the plane delayed. I'm not mad, but man the fates can be cruel. I've been looking forward to seeing my girl for this whole trip and the day I go to see her I get delayed. I must have done something bad because it feels like a karma thing.

So the trip wasn't that bad. The project progressed a little. I didn't accomplish what I was looking to get done, but it wasn't a total failure. Though this project that I am on is starting to seem like a slow grinding horror show. I would give details, but I can't since I have a non-disclosure agreement... So my flight out of here is delayed by 3 hours... Fun. the worst part of having to wait in an airport is that you are usually exhausted and there isn't a place to take a nap. I would definitely pay 10 bucks for a comfortable place to nap with an alarm clock so that I could still make my flight.

So Dublin is a nice city. I didn't get to see much of it. I was too busy and too tired to get out and have a serious look around. I'll have to bring my girl here this summer and visit properly. I miss my girl intensely. I'm so glad work let me have the day off to go down and see her. The cool thing is that they also footed the bill for the plane trip there and back. It was a nice gesture since the client asked that I stay an extra few days. Work is starting to get better, by that I mean the company. They are starting to get a little more flexible. Them making this gesture went a long way toward improving my morale. Though I'm really looking forward to not sitting in an airport or living out of a hotel for the next few weeks.

There is a kid here that is really bored and tired and upset... crying and shouting, which can be annoying, but after my like 5th or 6th trip I just feel bad for the kids. I'm sure they don't want to be stuck in an airport without there toys and friends. Poor little buggers. Hopefully when i have kids I wont have to make my children endure that. I remember long car rides being a pain in the ass for my parents (by that I mean me being the pain in the ass). I don't know how my mom got me and my sister through the 18 hour flight to Thailand when we were little. Come to think of it I miss Thailand. I should start making plans to go back there soon. I miss talking to my mother's sisters, and my little cousins. I especially miss my little cousin Yok. She is a cool cat. Ok well my time on the web will expire soon so.... until I get to Newark NJ...

Friday Night in Luxembourg

Ok so this week has been ok. 1st Lux trip of the year has gone ok. Lots of stuff discussed with the client and more to go, but I think it clarified a lot for me. Through discussion, some times more heated than it needed to be, things they were expecting were expanded upon. We got some information that my company needs for what they want done, and got a better idea of the information that is missing and needs more research from the client side. So far the trip hasn't solved everything, but I think we got more done than I initially thought when the client left the office today.

So tomorrow I'm off to Dublin. I'm looking forward to seeing it. I wish I had more free time there. Also wish my first visit wasn't for business. It would have been nice to go to Ireland for the first time with my girlfriend, and have a week or two to explore and see the family that I don't know. Oh well at least I'm going.

Overall this trip hasn't been that bad for me. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't have impending doom hanging over my head like I did the last time. The fact that I got to see my girlfriend the weekend before I had to leave gave me a huge boost to my morale. All in all this trip just hasn't had the cumulative negative circumstances that last time did.

OK so what am I doing in on a Friday night? Well I just came back from dinner, and I have an early flight tomorrow (6:45am). Plus, I don't drink and don't really know that many people here... and I'm a nerd.