Melancholy State of Mind

This weekend has been a series of harsh realiztions, sad thoughts, and the deep desire to crawl under the blankets forever. I'm not going to get into it with detail, which might really fuzzy the point of having this blog. The jist of it is that I'm not really in a great state of mind.

I'm trying to make myself look to the future and hope that it will be positive. I know that I will have to "make" it be better. It's all about directing your destiny. I'm having trouble with that right now. I just feel a little emotionally lost.

Good thing my little cousin was around... it was nice to talk to her about some of the random stuff that was bothering me. I kept her up until the sun came up. I love her for listening.

I hope I helped her with the things that were bothering her.

An Admirer

Ok so last night I talked to a pretty, young girl until all hours of the night/morning. It was a very exciting endeavor. She seems really into me. I wonder if that’s a sign of mental illness… seriously it could be an indicator of self destructive tendencies. I’m kidding of course (I have to say that, she reads my blog). Seriously though I had a lot of fun, and it’s flattering to have someone interested.

She is a talented writer and an all around interesting character. I would say she is a little bit green yet at the same time mature for her age. Experience will add a lot of depth to her work and general perspective. I envy her ability to focus enough to get words down on a page. That’s a skill I have always admired, and hoped I could develop one day.

The girl in question is a wicked overachiever (wicked, there’s some Boston for you). She is getting a college degree 2 years earlier than normal. I would characterize her as the kind of kid you hated in high school, but at the same time admired for talent level, and wondered where she found the time to be involved in everything.

I think she will be famous one day. Then I’ll be able to say, “I knew her once.”

I wonder if she has figured out from our conversation that I’m a terrible underachiever. Not in all things of course, but I definitely haven’t reached max potential. It’s sort of a family trait.

BBC NEWS | Technology | US judge ponders Google decision

BBC NEWS | Technology | US judge ponders Google decision

I have to agree with google on this one. Mainly for the first point that google makes in this article. Why should they supply the government with any data. They are a corporation... not a government agency and they are using the company resources to conduct company business. Why should they have to use company resources to do government work. If I were a google shareholder I would be pissed if they tell google they have to share their data. Think about the shareholder value lost from expenses associated with the information disclosure, the lost employee time, the damaged reputation for protection of user data.

The judge makes the point that perhaps the internet search shouldn't be treated as a private act. I agree with that. You should assume that anything you do on the web is a public event. The thing that I don't like is that a company will be compelled to give data over. If they want to share the data that is a different story. At that point there is a conscious decision to make that a function of their business. However, as a compulsory thing it's a crock of shit. The government needs to work on getting out of the businesses of sneaking, spying and telling people and companies how to live their lives.

The federal government is getting far too involved on an individual level. The original function of the Federal government wasn't to read my e-mail and make sure I'm not a terrorist. It was to ensure the unity of the states and the protection of the country. Some would argue that reading my e-mail and listening to my phone conversations, and now trying to get at my internet searches is trying to protect the country. I would have to counter that with the fact that there needs to be limits. Otherwise we may as well change the government style to a dictatorship.

Also I feel that policing on an individual level should be left to the States. If I'm not mistaken that was the original idea.

Corporate Sponsorship

I can't wait for spring to come. I can't wait for the temperature to go up. Winter is such a miserable season for me. Yes granted snow is nice. It's really cool looking and has a quieting effect on the surroundings while it's coming down. On a work day though... It just blows. Longer commute... Slushy slippery walkways... And all the salt that they throw down on the road. Right now my car looks like a powdered doughnut.

I keep thinking about moving away from Mass. I figure if I do I'll probably start working my way closer to the equator. Perpetual summer... That would be nice. My dream is to take early retirement in some tropical country. 28 isn't too soon is it. All I have to figure out now is how to get the funding.

Any really huge company out there that wants to sponsor me for a life at the beach I'm open to negotiations. Permanent Tattoos of your company logo... Slip your company name into every 5th sentence out of my mouth... That sort of thing, lets talk.

Damned If I Know

here's and odd observation... I think the older I have been getting the happier I have been. It makes sense in some ways...

Another weird thing is that I'm more and more OK with being single. That part of it doesn't make as much sense to me. I know that some would argue that I'm more settled now and blah blah, but I don't think that's it. I mean I would have thought that the waning youth would spur me to be more stressed about being alone. It's not the case at all though... I'm so relaxed about it. I mean I still talk like it bothers me sometimes, but it doesn't effect me nearly to the extent that it used to. Maybe I'm relearning patience... that would be nice.

cosmic-cafe.net

I just created a new blog. I'm looking for it to be a huge mish mash of random thoughts and ideas from a large number of authors. Take a look at it. cosmic-cafe.net If you would like to be a contributor shoot me an e-mail.